Monday, December 1, 2008

Sex!

I was reading an article on psychology of sex (?) and I found something interesting. Now, sex is always of interest to all, in written form and in writhing form. This was an interesting read on "arousal". There were these people who co-studied the subject "arousal in women".

The people who featured in this article (in a journal called Psychological Science)were Northwestern Psychology department chairman J. Michael Bailey, Lisa Diamond: Assistant Professor of Psychology at the University of Utah, Psychologist Roy F. Baumeister, Sex therapist Wendy Maltz,Florida-based sex therapist Miriam Davis, and Annie Sprinkle, a porn star turned sexual performance artist(?)

I never thought this may find its way to my blog some day. That was when an old college mate brought up the topic; and here it is....

A study revealed through this article, questions a lot of pre-set notions about arousal.

Desire can be often erratic,impulsive. Just like what happened to this girl Gerie, a college student from New Jersie. She kissed her girl friend during a party. A full mouth to mouth kiss. She is a heterosexual and she had her boy friend besides her but she says she didnt feel bad about. She had a few drinks during the party.She had sort of reasoned it out like this: "Guys are programmed to f**k, but girls aren't like that. Girls are more sensual, and the mood has to be right. It doesn't matter who's doing it, it just has to be right." May be the mood was right that night!

The study I was talking of states that men have eagerly embodied their reputation as the sexually enthusiastic half of the population, but women, deep down, are really thirsting for more. How they concluded was by letting men, women and transexuals watch erotic or pornographic videos with sensors attached to their genitals to measure responses. While men and transexuals responded to what they usually like, women seemed to respond equally to gay and lesbian sex just like they responded to straight sex.

Women are probably a bit disconnected from this genital thing, says micheal Bailey. "They are perhaps fully aroused more by circumstance, such as an emotional bond or a sexy scenario, as something that engages their brains and emotions". When men get an erection, Bailey says, "it makes men motivated to have sex with whatever's causing the genital arousal. I don't think women have the same connection."

Lisa Diamond says that some women unconsciously dissect what defines their sexual interests, and find that they may want different things from different sexes. "You have a lot of cases of totally heterosexual women who may not be aroused by women, but their deepest emotional bond is with other women," she says. "They feel they fall in love with other women, without the sex." Curious, isn't it!

Lisa likens arousal to a pathway: "For most men, their interests start with a sexual attraction, and then lead to an emotional attachment". But for women, she said, "the interest can go through the pathway in the opposite direction, with a deep emotional bond spawning a sudden sexual interest".
As I vaguely remember I think from a Woody Allen movie; the man moves his reading glasses in a girl's palm suggestively prompting her to ask him to stop doing it because it was turning her on.

How ever Bailey counters saying that this could be an evolutionary trait, because women didn't have to develop a sexual orientation, when men, as the historically dominant species, were the ones always seeking out mates. They are genetiaclly programmed to seek and f**k a female! Well, most of them.

Another point. How many advertisements have you seen with a nude or partially nude male body? Even when you get to see one, it is a clean hairless torso and a nice six-pack. But the six-incher is always a big NO. No penis please. Thus the average mind is used to seeing the female anatomy every where and thus associates the essence of sex with the female form. I am not complaining here ; just stating a fact.Visual imagery of sex is thus the nude girl.

So what is the connection? Even girls may like such an image. But do men get turned on by a nude male torso. No, unless they are gay.

Porn star Sprinkle says that her transexual co stars were so cuddly and loving until they started taking testosterone. Then they left all the cuddling and became just f**king machines. Its all in the hormones!

Thus it seems that the machines need to take a bit more time to study and adopt different strategies if they need to succesfully get into the girl's pants.Period.

For the inherently sapiosexual woman,her sexuality is so close to her heart and brain. Which could be the reason why the time taken for a male erection beats light in speed but the woman may take up to 45 minutes before she is ripe and ready.
I don't know what works for all. But it could be a mild perfume, or ruffling the hair, cooking break fast, or just a look. It could be a conversation of mutual interest, the proximity, or just golden silence. And as I always believe, there is no better foreplay than humor!

Count Dracula to girl: "What turns you on, babe? Would a bite help?"

The Covariation model