I fell in love when I was very young. I didn’t even know what it was. I was only 2 years old. But I remember it all. Somethings in life are like that.
I put a hand on my hip, struck a pose and asked her; “Hi. What’s your name, gorgeous?”
She said, “I am Tiny. What's yours?”
“Tiny? Is that your name? C'mon!” I was amused.
She responded in way which was very matter of fact; “Yes it is. My parents call me Tiny. Tiny Thomas”
“Oh...Where are you from?” I asked. Oh I think I know! Your name says it all. You must be from Kerala”
She looked at me with a certain expression that I couldn’t fathom. “Yes, I am..But how did you figure that out?”
I assumed what I thought was my “love guru” demeanor. “Oh well...I guess I am pretty good at understanding women”.
She paused for 5 full seconds as if I said something stupid. But responded without any trace of emotion. “Alright, so, what’s your name?”
Oh well..I’ve got 2 names. I think. My momma calls me Baby and my Papa calls me...well it’s a long name. It's uhmm..koochie koochie koo”
Tiny coughed loudly, clutched her tiny throat, but regained her composure very quickly. “Oh that’s so sweeet! koochie koochie koo? Really!”
I was confused. The way she uttered my name, it didn’t sound right. Like it was the name of a fruit, or something related. I had to clarify.
“No!” It’s more like (in my best booming baby baritone voice) khuchie khuchie khuu”
And we laughed. Together. A lot.
That’s when I noticed that my nappy was slipping down and she would have gotten to know a lot more about me. I quickly yanked it up and managed a “Cya later. Toodles!”
Before we said good bye that day, I asked her whether I’d be seeing her again. She said she would love to. She looked at me and said this much more; “I’d like to know more about you, koochie”. My knees turned into jelly.
And she surprised me. Women. They are so full of surprises. They would surprise you when you least expect it. She turned around, and boy!...she gave me the wettest, noisiest, loudest flying kiss in the world. Brrrssstt...
I felt weak, my ears clogged, my head swooned, and I let go off my nappy. Who cares! I was in love.
But ladies and gentlemen, exactly 2 months later, we broke up. Just like that. She caught me holding hands with Maya, our neighbors’ 5 year old daughter, and called it quits. She could have considered the fact that Maya was another 3 years older than me. It was not going to be a working relationship anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, the age factor is a real thing to be considered. At 2 years old, I wasn’t that aware of these small but important details. Moreover, it wasn’t me who was holding Maya's hand. She was just dragging me away from a muddy pool of water where I was playing, to give me a wash. But who wants to know all that. It's always the man who is victimized.
But I wiped my drool off and took it on my chin. But….but….And your first heartbreak is just like your first tooth. It hurts the most. To make it worse, your own parents make fun of you. At that time, when you are down and out, when your whole world smells like a yesterday’s nappy, all you want is a bit of understanding, a warm bath or….an ice cream. But I got nothing. My mom kept saying; “hey I saw Tiny yesterday. She's all grown up. She's so pretty. She's got a new friend. His name is Mickey”
What? She’s already into another relationship? And he has a real name? And it’s a cartoon character?
This is a tragedy! I am never gonna win her love back!
I was destroyed. I felt so sick that I puked all the milk I drank that day. I broke down and cried….and I cried…..until I farted.
But that’s when it happened. My mother walked up to me, held up my chin and told me, “don’t you ever cry, baby. Remember who you are. You are Papa’s kochie kochie koo. You are strong. Tiny has gone. But you gotta move on. Because you got ME. And I have THIS for you!...and she held out not 1, not 2, but 3 popsicles. Yeah, 3 of them!
I put one in my mouth, held on to it with all 4 of my teeth, and walked out to face the world.
