Tuesday, September 15, 2009
There came that time in my life when the pen needed more than words to go...a place where some of you have been to; the crash site of elusive, ephemeral moments. And I asked myself; what happened? How did I get here? What was it about?
Some times something can pick you by the short hairs and fling you around. Some thing called ...I do not know what...
Or maybe I got it all wrong.
You carry around beliefs about yourself that make you feel special, desirable, precious and innately good. After the initial phase where you take care of all those parts of your essential being; you put it down on a shelf for safe keeping. You assume that they have done their duties; a rest is fine.
But others do not rest. After all you were always under their eternal surveillance. They put those sticky yellow post-its on your back. All unawares. You carry them around. Slowly, you become the tag you carry.
Confused,you look around. You see someone else with a similar tag. You smile and then warily sit down for a coffee at a table.
What took you there? Deprivation? Angst? Boredom?
This is the real potent part of it all.
To sit down with your back towards the rest; the post-its on your back saying it aloud; but you go on to sing a song....over a coffee.
You carved out this time from your life for a song or a coffee? Or was it for something you can't explain? What is that dumb excuse?
I know just this much..It isn't mine to command it....let the flow wash me ashore...
When I find out all the reasons
Maybe I'll find another way
Find another day
With all the changing seasons of my life
Maybe I'll get it right next time....(GNR - Estranged)
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